Thursday, January 19, 2012

"I'm Writing a Novel, Officer!" --Weird Things I've Googled For Something I was Writing
If you take a glance at my web browsing history after I finish a writing session, you are likely to come away with three conclusions:
  1. I can’t spell “beaurocracy” (bureaucracy as it turns out), often not even close enough for Google to figure it out.
  2. A Good portion of my time “writing” is actually spent on Tumblr, Facebook, and Pandora.
  3. I might be planning to commit some pretty God-damned serious murder. 

When you write Scifi or Mysteries, you have to do a surprising amount of research that would normally indicate a severe case of psychopathy. How fast does an object have to move to decapitate someone? How long does it take to bleed out from a stab wound? How does small pox spread? 

Not going to lie, it’s some pretty messed up stuff; The kind of horrifying shit that the blond sorority girl unfortuitously notices moments before getting murdered by her newly acquainted, eccentric, millionaire-lover.

I live in constant fear of the day when the FBI shows up at my door and I have to explain that I only Googled “aerosol poisons” for a chapter I was writing.

All of that said, I thought Jason and I might share a list of some of the most disturbing and incriminating things we’ve Googled while writing and get it on the record that it’s ALL for a novel (right??).

  • Calculating blast radiuses
  • How does anesthesia work?
  • Genetic manipulation using viruses
  • How long would it take for an object to fall to earth from orbit?
  • How long can a person survive in space without a suit?
  • Fast killing poisons
  • Dislocating an arm
  • How do energy weapons work?
  • How do you make an EMP bomb?
  • Is it possible to ignite a planet’s atmosphere?
  • Names of the Gods of Death
  • Weaponized nanite technology
  • Creating a black hole
  • Can the large hadron collider destroy the universe?
  • Anti-matter bombs
  • US Military sniper rifles
  • Combat knife techniques
  • Third degree burns
  • Tesla’s Harmonic Weapons
  • Implanting a mind-machine interface device

  • Untraceable poisons
  • How much pure nicotine does it take to kill a man?
  • City police hierarchies
  • The origins of Cerberus (3-headed dog, guardian of Hades)
  • Powerful boxing moves


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