Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Jason's Rules of Writing

Jason's Rules of Writing

(And why you shouldn't listen)

  1. You write gold. Except you suck.
  2. You will usually describe objects (nouns) by their three most important features. (More of a context thing.)
  3. Passive sentences are killed by a watchful eye (or eyes) and practice.
  4. Being redundant is redundant. Don't be redundant.
  5. Readers will hate a meaningless story more than a story full of crappy writing.
  6. Readers don't like to read crappy writing, unless glittering vampires are involved; and thus the pages glitter in their own respect.
  7. You write gold. Except you suck.
  8. The mark of a great writer is one who learns the rules (guidelines), and breaks them in such a way that the reader benefits from it (and possibly doesn't realize the breakage).

  9. The mark of a terrible writer is one who doesn't learn the rules and thus has no idea how to subtly make it seem as if they aren't broken; pissed off reader (see 5 or 6)
  10. Back up your writing somehow.
  11. The mark of someone who shouldn't be a writer is
  12. Don't listen to anyone's writing advice.
  13. Take that advice seriously.
  14. Finish your work.
  15. Finish it.
  16. Read as many stories and/or poetry as you can.
  17. This doesn't count. (See 12)
  18. Outlining is good.
  19. Sticking to your outline is bad.
  20. The voices in your head are right.
  21. You have voices in your head?
  22. Finish your work.
  23. You write gold. Except you suck.
  24. Don't let anyone tell you you cannot be a writer. (See 12 and then 13)
  25. Work with others, for you will at the very least find out how bad you currently are; if you're lucky you'll realize your potential and receive help getting there.
  26. Learn how to write a sentence. (You need to learn how to write a sentence.)(See 4.)
  27. Edit your work.
  28. Listen to our Fearless Leader.
  29. Step out of your comfort zone of writing. Include dragons.
  30. Take at least two weeks away from your completed draft before returning.
  31. Finish your work.
  32. (See 1)
  33. Stay away from cliches, unless you don't.
  34. Learn how to constructively critique.
  35. Learn how to rudely critique.
  36. Learn how to keep your mouth shut.
  37. Learn how to see the positives in a piece. There has to be at least one.
  38. Get jealous of superior writing and work to better yourself; odds are someone looks up to your writing in some way.
  39. Avoid the use of “very”, “really”, and “just”. Also, feel free to take out “that” if it doesn't change the meaning of the sentence.
  40. Clarity over prose.
  41. Tell don't show. (See 12)
  42. Consider doing something else with your life.
  43. Remind yourself that this is the thing you're best at.
  44. Remember that you (will) get paid to make things up.
  45. If it's only there because you like it, get rid of it.
  46. If it doesn't benefit the story, get rid of it.
  47. Less words, same meaning.
  48. The use of choppy sentences and fragments isn't always good. Sharp is better. Clarity and power are best. (See 47.)
  49. Come up with one more thing to write. (See 31.)
  50. Believe that someday someone will read your work. Just let it be beyond your mother by that point.

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